play this for the vibe while you read
This is a story about bleeding blue
with sincere appreciation to
Thuyen Ngo @nhonnct12
Joshua Jang @shiko.wav
Madison Hooper @madisonxhooper
Tommy Park @tombo.97
Christian Dillard @playknows
Vora @vora______
@waterandpower_life
I used to think there would always be more time. not in any specific way, but just having faith in that there would be a later.
later for showing up properly for the things that actually matter, for doing it right, to fix things, to say it.
A later to become someone else.
and the problem is,
most days, nothing ever felt wrong.
thats because the choices that really mess you up dont feel like mistakes when youre making them.
they just feel like normal days. A skip here, push there, telling myself id get to it.
and I actually believed that.
when ben and Charlie passed away, it wasnt the loss itself that sunk me down.
it was seeing the pattern, realizing how I had been moving this whole time. What I chose, what I didnt, and what that actually added up to now.
no one and nothing took anything from me even if I wanted to believe it did.
the war didnt take away my friend, and the illness didnt take away my pup.
truth is I built it like this. I took myself away from the both long before.
and there was the violence.
it’s me understanding my own decisions after they’ve already become permanent.
I wanted to start making choices that didn't feel natural and go against how I usually make decisions. Thats the anomaly.
because the way we normally live.. it drifts and avoids. It delays the things that actually matter, and it does it in a way that feels completely fine while it’s happening.
but I dont trust that anymore.
baby blue is a color I would never choose and thats why I chose it for this collection.
every piece is me going against myself, interrupting the pattern, not waiting until it feels right because it never will.
these objects are part of it. they are the decisions, the corrections, the moments where I could’ve gone back to what was easy, but didnt.
